March 28, 2008
Hi everyone. It’s actually surprising how many people read about my health travails and even more surprising how many people genuinely seem to care. So say my stats and my comment log, anyway.
I’ve been neglectful in faithfully updating in this regard in the past few weeks. Perhaps I hope it will magically evaporate, go away, cease to be.
I didn’t update when I went back to my gastroenterologist and he revealed to me that I’d tested positive for an antibody that indicates that I most likely indeed do have Crohn’s disease. I didn’t update the daily feelings of “ugh” and malaise. I thought I could be bigger than that.
On Wednesday night, I ended up with a free evening (in the midst of a two-week stint of family visits), so on my way home from work I got some takeout pad Thai and had a solo meal, with lots of hot sauce and a beer (just one! I swear.). By the time I’d finished eating, I felt uncomfortable, puffed up. I reclined for a while and read some of “Sister Carrie.” No better. I took a bath. Not better, worse. By the time David got home from his evening activities, I felt bad. Stabbing, clenching pains in my gut accompanied with swirly nausea. I took an Oxycodone tablet I had left over from my last hospital trip and waited. Nothing.
After about an hour I told David I needed to go to the hospital. I’m glad we did. The ER was busy and there was some wait. I felt like jumping out of my skin or screaming. At least I knew what was wrong: I staggered right up to the desk and said “partial bowel obstruction.” And I knew exactly what I needed: get me an IV, then Zofram for the nausea, then Dilaudid for the pain–that’s right, nothing can touch this pain, not even morphine, except Dilaudid. Dilaudid is a miracle drug in about a hundred different ways (and, according to Wikipedia, it’s three times stronger than Heroin by volume).
This time they didn’t make me stay. They watched me for a few hours, gave me a few more drugs to help things relax and move through and then sent me home at 3a.m. with a prescription of Dilaudid in pill form (I’m amazed they let people take the stuff unsupervised!). I slept all day yesterday and humped myself into work this morning at about 10:30.
I’m scheduled for another colonoscopy in April. More exploration to see if it really is Crohn’s that has me all wrong. What I’m struggling with now is the emotional fallout of the situation. I can’t deal with how it leaves my coworkers in the lurch when I am out for a few days here and there. Or my family, or Mr. Pencil. I feel like I can’t depend on being OK. I don’t want to despair but sometimes it’s hard not to.
Anyway, onward. I have a lot to do and look forward to.
UPDATED: Due to my fun with the ER, my GI has moved my next colonoscopy up to next week–on Mr. Pencil’s birthday, no less. Crikes. Wish me luck.