What's your Least-Favorite American State?
May 5, 2008
Preface: I’ve been to all 48 contiguous states. I have been to nearly all multiple times. I plan on going to Alaska next year. Hawaii might be harder.
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For me, I’m going to have to say it’s a toss-up between Kansas and Oklahoma. The landscapes are long in the face and don’t seem loved by the inhabitants, particularly. The High Plains in general are a tough thing to love easily, but the Dakotas seem to have more blasted serenity than their southern neighbors.
Kansas, the last time I was there, last April, was smattered along its entire freeway length with anti-abortion billboards, all struggling to best each other in terms of shock value. Kansas also has toll freeways, which seem entirely inappropriate.
Oklahoma seems like Kansas, only greyer and even more stubbly, though I haven’t been there for some time. I’ll grant you that the panhandle is fascinating if not lovely. First the strip of land was eschewed from Texas because it was above the latitude boundary for having slaves. It was never loved, a no man’s land. Then it was finally, slowly homesteaded, but then blown to scoured bits in the Dust Bowl.
I would love for someone to show me the joy and the beauty in either of these places. I know there is something to be found–this country, despite its political-social shortcomings and bursts of insanity, is a staggering quilt of landscape–I just need to be shown. Kansas tried to show me, a little bit. It was late dusk and I was gunning for KC. And suddenly fire. Snaking, low lines of fire only a foot or two high: the prairie burning. It was surreal and unforgettable, but sadly in an area with no exits from the freeway (hence no photos).
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I believe there’s a decent state park, just across the TX border at the bottom of OK, but I can’t remember the details right now. Lake Texoma straddles the states, I suppose, and is not a bad place to get stranded for an afternoon in a jury-rigged speedboat with a half-dozen friends and some beer.
They charge about $75/hour to tow a boat back to the shore of Lake Texoma, btw.
I hear Tulsa has its charms, but I can’t confirm from personal experience.
I’ll bet that we have very different impressions of many states, since most of my adult travels have involved flying into a city, rather than driving between them.
That said, my trip last year to Wichita, Kansas was about as dull as I imagined it would be (I mean, as far as an example of a Kansas city goes; my trip was actually quite enjoyable). Look at a map of the place! When the map looks like a big grid, you just know it won’t be that exciting of a place. There’s almost no natural obstacles to your geometric perfection!
The best thing I can say about Kansas was that, due to its proximity to the more interesting Midwestern states, it had frozen custard.
I’ve had really good pie in Oklahoma but as far as I can tell, Kansas offers very little to the interstate traveler. Aside from all the dead-fetus billboards, the tolls are ridiculous – how costly can it be to pave something as flat and featureless as Kansas? New Jersey was similarly expensive to drive through but at least it was short and had something worth visiting at the end, New York.
Oklahoma and Kansas are easy targets.
My least favorite state is Washington. It’s just too close. Zillions of Vantuckians drive over here every day and pollute our air, giving me allergies. And now they want us to build them a new bridge, so even more can drive over, pollute, etc.
Lyza, my question is: what about Delaware? Where does it rank in all of this?
Florida did not live up to the warm spring selling as my travel agent had pitched. The week I was there in 1995, it was below freezing, which sent me into various gift shops buying sweatshirts and blankets. Next Florida attempt will be Key West in Year 2009.