It took a few years of angry searching. Condescension at wide-ruled “plebian” notepads. Eschewing of perfectly nice notebooks brought thousands of miles and placed at my feet as gifts. Finally, I have found The One True Notebook. Or at least the closest thing I’m likely to uncover.

Meet the Rediform Chemistry Notebook, 9.25 x 7.5 Inches, Green, 60 Sheets per Pad, which is actually–just to throw those who are not true believers off the scent–not in any way Rediform but in fact is National(TM, dammit) Brand item #43-571. Write that down. There.

This is the high-priced hooker of notepads. Not because it’s expensive or technically illegal, but because you feel like you’ve gotten away with something very, very illicit by finally finding it and are quite smug overall. I am, anyway. In hindsight, comparing a notebook to a prostitute is pretty silly. However, these notebooks are Canadian. That is titillating on some level, no?

This notebook has hard covers that are coated with something at least nominally goop-resistant. It has slightly rounded corners because someone finally figured out that crisp, square corners are stupid and just get clobbered in messenger bags. The thing opens flat, has a softly greenish tone (but much paler than, say, a yellow legal pad–and green is a much less terrifying color than yellow), and, as a final blow of glory, the pages are numbered. Run, don’t walk. I gotta get myself a gross of these. They are currently $8.59 (damn Canadians and their inability to round numbers?) and ship free if you have Amazon Prime.

The notebook of my dreams, available at Amazon.com. Mine did not have the stupid sticker and is a pure cerulean through and through.